It has been coming all weekend. First that unexpected sneeze, then the slight irritation in the larynx. Saturday night I detected a mild sore throat. Then Sunday a running nose and a sore throat and now, this morning….MAN FLU!
This horrifying malady has struck at the worst time of the week!
Oh cruel fate that should see me laid low on a Monday but with too much work to do to justify a day off, lying in a bed of pain! No! Instead I had to drag myself up with the temperature a freezing 6 degrees Celsius and despite sneezing at least once followed by a single cough, I had to strip off my snuggly superman onesie and shower, dress and drive myself to work!
So delirious was I that I forgot to bring the normal medicine cabinet full of tablets and nasal sprays essential for combatting Man Flu and so I sit, hunched over the computer, proclaiming my fate to the world.
(Pauses here to sniff pathetically over the office partition for attention)
I am sure I had a fever this morning but the thermometer was obviously broken and claimed that I was within “normal” limits.
LIES!!!!
I did have a shivering fit when I arrived at work but another colleague callously suggested that I turn off the air conditioner and put on my jacket. Granted, the shivering passed, but I know that I am dying and that my workmate will ask himself after I am gone…
“How could I have not seen the signs? If only I had cared more!”
I leave him to his conscience and return to my own tragic circumstance.
I managed manfully to choke down the cup of Lady Grey tea that a more compassionate office worker who realised how little time I have to live made for me (I let the fact that chicken noodle soup was not also provided pass) and graciously accepted 2 paracetamol tablets which another had nestled in her handbag. Despite my dreadfully congested nose I could detect an odour suggestive of stale peppermints about the tablets but I was too weak to ask her to clean out her handbag more regularly.
I could tell that at last those about me were beginning to appreciate the severity of my condition after I coughed for the second time today followed by a tragic second nose blowing episode! The other men in the office realised that they too were at risk of contracting “Man Flu” and quite understandably ran away leaving me to the ministrations of the kind ladies whose motherly instincts, operating on full throttle after Mothers’ Day, came to the fore. Although I could feel my life slipping away I appreciated their soothing “Awwwws” and “Poor You”s.
I must stop here alas, for the typing has made me lightheaded and I may need to lie down in the compactus for a little while and reserve my strength lest I have to cough again.
So farewell dear readers, I hope to see your cheery Gravatars again…If not in this life but the next.
Cough!
Weekly Photo Challenge: Half and Half
Hang in there old chap, that Man Flu is serious and people (mostly women) have no idea how deadly it can be! In fact I think I may have caught it myself from your post!!!!
Perhaps a single malt may be needed, purely for medicinal purposes. . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Take it immediately before the dreaded lurgy takes hold! No woman knows how we suffer!
LikeLike
Guess that’s a travelling bug! I’ve also caught some head-cold, but been recuperating from the coziness of my bed most of the day. Such is the delight of unemployment.
Anyway, hope you recover soon. *sends blankets and tea of your choice*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your kind words and virtual tea and blankets. So particularly kind given you yourself are laid low! Best wishes for a speedy recovery! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I’m not laid low. I’m doing laundry.
Thanks for the recovery wishes 🙂
*slinks off, sniffling*
LikeLiked by 1 person
I call washing an affliction we all suffer from. Sympathy 🙂
LikeLike
Poor devil. I approve of the suggestion, above, that you indulge in a single malt. You can borrow some of mine, Pater Morbo (Latin). Also, apologies for the cold. Probs my fault.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did visit your blog several days ago. Undoubtedly the site of the infection! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed – my Haikus are sickeningly brilliant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sending you a hot toddy, and some homemade chicken soup! This sounds absolutely horrific. Courage, mon ami!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tres, tres gentil. I will do my best to soldier on! Searching for the chicken soup port on my computer now. (smiling weakly but with great bravery)
LikeLiked by 1 person
A tough ordeal to go through, but I trust your manly fortitude will see you through.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There always comes a time when a man must prove himself a man. It is heartening to find other alpha males who appreciate the huge ordeal which is Man Flu.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Though you may well be nearing the end, fear not, for your legacy shall live on as the grand pros and photos of your posts live one.
(And I agree, your thermometer was lying–mine always does!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will do my best to hold on untul your Tuesday post so I may have the last laugh 🙂 cough! Sniff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh dear Lord, that sounded nightmarish! (and reminded me quite a lot of my husband) Get well soon!
LikeLiked by 2 people
That poor man. At least you kmow first hand how we men suffer. Thank yiu for your words of comfort. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You brave through your suffering admirably! Always welcome 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just wanted to add, T.J., that I love your Mondayitis posts! Though they stem from deep misery and pain, remember as your suffering through your next Monday (if you should survive that long) that you are suffering for your art.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I so appreciate your kind words and am beginning to hope that I will last to rant again next week. ; )
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear, dear friend… men realy are like babys… my God… just complaining for the flu!!!!!… Well, I’m kidding you… get better as soon as posible!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many thanks! I am happy to let you know that I have recovered from the flu! 🙂 The kind messages of so many people who read the story helped greatly! 😉 Very best wishes!
LikeLike
there, there……poor old thing….have some honey and lemon….bless you…… ok, that’s all the sympathy I can muster..! Love the pic by the way. Get better soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! 🙂 How very kind! Cough cough! So glad you liked the picture! I will struggle on! 🙂
LikeLike
Brave soldier!! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You poor dear!! I hope you’re feeling much better by the time you read this and haven’t departed this mortal coil for a better place.
janet
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just waking up here in western Australia to your kind condolences. I survived the night and am preparing to drag myself from my bed of pain and manfully go to work. What is that I hear? “Stay away from the light!”
LikeLike
You’re so brave! I admire your “manliness.” (Cough, cough.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do hope you have not caught this dreaded lurgy! Yes, I am quite manly. I even swallowed the paracetamol tablets whole instead of having them crushed up in a spoon of jam, that’s how manly I am.
LikeLike