Mondayitis – Tea Anyone?
Having worked hard in my profession for 25 years I have now at last reached the apogee of importance in my department…
I make the tea.
Perhaps it is my Japanese language skills or my appreciation for fine china that made me suited to this particularly onerous task but I, and I alone, am entrusted to add the leaves to the pot and dish out the cups and saucers on a regular basis to my parched comrades desperate for “the cup that cheers but not inebriates.”
None of this teabag nonsense in out department I can tell you! Only the finest Darjeeling and Orange Pekoe in our tea canisters!
Anyway, sometimes making the tea becomes a trifle tedious and I was delighted today when another colleague offered to return the favour. I said yes at once.
OH THAT I HAD SAID NO!
I reclined back in my office chair as suitable rattlings of dainty teaspoons against porcelain emanated from the office kitchen, obscured by the partition of my executive cubicle.
An unfamiliar tea smell wafted over me. Was it Early Grey? Lap sang sou chong?
My speculations were interrupted when my cubicle neighbor’s huge, brown 1970’s mug that I had tried repeatedly to break while washing up was plonked down on my copy of Becherelle, tea bag tag rudely proclaiming it to be “black and gold” generic tea dust.
Naturally I could not say anything, as it is inadvisable to demoralize Generation Y staff, so I feigned hearty thanks and, as milk had been added in lavish quantities, downed the filthy brew in a few rapid gulps.
Surprisingly, in the last mouthful I encountered what seemed to be a large tea leaf, escaped apparently from the teabag. I pushed it about in my mouth, waiting for a discrete moment to spit it back in the mug.
It was not a large tealeaf. It was a medium sized cockroach.
Resisting the urge to instantly projectile vomit I felt obliged to point out, in the politest terms that in future it would be advisable to check the interior of mugs before adding water and milk…you know…just in case “THERE WAS A FILTHY COCKROACH IN THE BOTTOM OF THE DAMMED MUG!”
I HAD DRUNK THE WHOLE CUP OF INFUSED COCKROACH AND THEN TOYED WITH IT WITH MY TONGUE!
I think I need a nice cup of tea!