Mondayitis – Cockroach in my Tea!

This is one of a pair of Russian Gardiners Porcelain teacups I found dusty and unloved in a local antique shop.
This is one of a pair of Russian Gardiners Porcelain teacups I found dusty and unloved in a local antique shop. No cockroaches here I can assure you!

Mondayitis – Tea Anyone?

Having worked hard in my profession for 25 years I have now at last reached the apogee of importance in my department…

I make the tea.

Perhaps it is my Japanese language skills or my appreciation for fine china that made me suited to this particularly onerous task but I, and I alone, am entrusted to add the leaves to the pot and dish out the cups and saucers on a regular basis to my parched comrades desperate for “the cup that cheers but not inebriates.”

None of this teabag nonsense in out department I can tell you! Only the finest Darjeeling and Orange Pekoe in our tea canisters!

Anyway, sometimes making the tea becomes a trifle tedious and I was delighted today when another colleague offered to return the favour. I said yes at once.

OH THAT I HAD SAID NO!

I reclined back in my office chair as suitable rattlings of dainty teaspoons against porcelain emanated from the office kitchen, obscured by the partition of my executive cubicle.

An unfamiliar tea smell wafted over me. Was it Early Grey? Lap sang sou chong?

My speculations were interrupted when my cubicle neighbor’s huge, brown 1970’s mug that I had tried repeatedly to break while washing up was plonked down on my copy of Becherelle, tea bag tag rudely proclaiming it to be “black and gold” generic tea dust.

Naturally I could not say anything, as it is inadvisable to demoralize Generation Y staff, so I feigned hearty thanks and, as milk had been added in lavish quantities, downed the filthy brew in a few rapid gulps.

Surprisingly, in the last mouthful I encountered what seemed to be a large tea leaf, escaped apparently from the teabag. I pushed it about in my mouth, waiting for a discrete moment to spit it back in the mug.

I did.

It was not a large tealeaf. It was a medium sized cockroach.

Resisting the urge to instantly projectile vomit I felt obliged to point out, in the politest terms that in future it would be advisable to check the interior of mugs before adding water and milk…you know…just in case “THERE WAS A FILTHY COCKROACH IN THE BOTTOM OF THE DAMMED MUG!”

I HAD DRUNK THE WHOLE CUP OF INFUSED COCKROACH AND THEN TOYED WITH IT WITH MY TONGUE!

I think I need a nice cup of tea!

Advertisements

7 Comments

  1. Sorry to say, I’m heartily laughing at this, TJ. Definitely gross and I commend you for not vomiting, projectile or otherwise. I understand that insects are full of protein, but they’re not on my menu unless they stand between me and starvation!

    Off to enjoy my tea, after a look inside the cup and pot.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, sorry but I laughed…and covered my mouth and gasped…and said, “Hhhhhh!” I’ve read somewhere that in our lives we accidentally “consume” (that’s the word they used 😛 ) on average 10 spiders and various bugs. Yuuuuuuuk. At least it didn’t *taste* cockroach-y 😛

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s