Mondayitis – Retrosexual

Now if we were still wearing the same sort of ties that the quintessential uber-dandy of Fin de Siecle, the Comte de Montesquiou-Fézensac, sported in this portait we snapped in the Musee D'Orsay then I might be tempted.

Now if we were still wearing the same sort of ties that the quintessential uber-dandy of Fin de Siecle, the Comte de Montesquiou-Fezensac, sported in this portait snapped by a dear friend in the Musee D’Orsay then I might be tempted.

Anyone reading my posts may glean that I am a man of tradition. I embrace the antique, the historical and the vintage.

Some may even call me a Retrosexual.

However, I feel that I must take a stand against the one traditional male item of attire that to me personifies everything that is idiotic and pointless. That one redundant item that serves no useful purpose except perhaps to define the “professional” from the “labourer”; that disgusting yoke of servitude….The necktie.

Anyone living in Western Australia knows one thing. It is damned hot!

Anyone living in Britain, from where I assume we inherited this absurd fashion, knows that it often is not.

Now if a tie started its life as a sensible means of keeping out the cold I can understand it, but in a climate where, for example, we are expecting the mercury to hit 100 degrees on Friday then anything that restricts the dispersion of heat from the neck is frankly ludicrous.

Now this is neck attire at its most sensible. Rupert of the Rhine knows best. Photo from: http://hoydensandfirebrands.blogspot.com.au/2010/10/prince-rupert-of-rhine-1619-1682.html

Now this is neck attire at its most sensible. Rupert of the Rhine knows best. Photo from: http://hoydensandfirebrands.blogspot.com.au/2010/10/prince-rupert-of-rhine-1619-1682.html

The history of the necktie is a fascinating one.

This is a quote from that repository of all true and accurate knowledge…Wikipedia

“The modern necktie spread by Europe traces back to the time of the Thirty Years’ War (1618–1648) when Croatian mercenaries from the Croatian Military Frontier in French service, wearing their traditional small, knotted neckerchiefs, aroused the interest of theParisians. Due to the slight difference between the Croatian word for Croats, Hrvati, and the French word, Croates, the garment gained the name “cravat” (“cravate” in French).[2] The boy-king Louis XIV began wearing a lace cravat about 1646, when he was seven, and set the fashion for French nobility. This new article of clothing started a fashion craze in Europe; both men and women wore pieces of fabric around their necks. From its introduction by the French king, men wore lace cravats, or jabots, that took a large amount of time and effort to arrange. These cravats were often tied in place by cravat strings, arranged neatly and tied in a bow.”

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necktie

You can go to the original article if you want to know how to tie a half Windsor with a dimple.

More sane people will stand back and perhaps ask themselves why a large number of men still persist in wandering about with a pointless piece of rag laboriously fastened around their necks?

The identity of this man has been kept a secret, but I must say he has at least realised that if you must wear a tie then make sure it is as loud as possible.

The identity of this man has been kept a secret, but I must say he has at least realised that if you must wear a tie then make sure it is as loud as possible.

Busy as I am, I did spend a moment the other day working out how many layers of fabric end up around your neck if you wear a tie.

Ten by my calculations.

6 for the collar (including lining) and 4 for the tie if you include the lining, the seam and the fabric. I could not calculate how many layers at the front it you went for the full Windsor knot.  The maths proved too difficult.

Now if some chappy came up to me with 10 layers of cloth on a 100 degree day and said,

“I say, here’s a thought. How about your wrap all of these around your neck?” Then I am sure the majority would offer to wrap them around the speaker’s neck with alacrity.

But, due to some Parisians several hundred years ago exhibiting a man-crush for some Croatian mercenaries we are doomed to wear a sad vestige of this early trend, bound to fashion by a silken cord. (or cheap polyester if silk is beyond your purse).

I can almost feel my blood pressure rising beneath my Balenciaga fabric remnant just by writing about this vile item.

Add to this that, for the majority of men, who, being men, tend not to be excessively fastidious, most ties end up as visual records of their owner’s lives, the meals they have eaten, the drinks they have enjoyed as well as many more unspeakable bespatterings, then I ask you…”What is the matter with modern society?”

Wake up Western Australia!

Cast aside this repulsive accretion of the ages! Women no longer swoon at the sight of a manly chest! So rise up my fellow professionals and unimprison your Adam’s apples!

Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge: Ornate

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16 thoughts on “Mondayitis – Retrosexual

  1. You are charming–no matter the attire, mood, or topic du jour! I happen to love beautiful ties that compliment the shirt and suit of a handsome man. I would–at least years ago, and on one most specific gentleman–equally love removing said tie as I increase the “heat” elsewhere 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My dear, you complain that in Australia professional men must unimprison their Adam’s apples. In this part of the world, California, there is the culture of “casual”, the more casual and slobs they look the better they feel. Here we have the Friday casual and it feels more like people go to work in their pijama. The rest of the week is not any better. Forgetting how to dress up leads to lack of self-esteem, self-respect and lack of manners, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ties are magnificent. I have several. And necks aren’t the only things you can tie up with them 😉 But before you mind lodges firmly in the gutter, I am of course referring to a tie’s potential use as a tourniquet! So much style and utility!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are a little mistaken, mon vieux, if you believe that women no longer swoon at the sight of a manly chest! I am sure many women would also swoon with delight at the extra wardrobe space that would be freed up if the enormous collections of ties that some men accumulate were discarded. But a tie can lend a great deal of elegance to male attire.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can honestly say that I don’t really remember when I saw a tie for real (other than in photos). I may have been 6-7 y/o when my dad wore one to my cousin’s wedding… I’ll have to check the albums.
    I certainly don’t remember seeing any ties on sale in shops around my part of the world (which makes me wonder what would a local man do if he wanted one. Travel?).
    Thank you for making me laugh 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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