Work Safety and My Lasagna Shame

It seems that every day of the year these days is World “Something or Othery” Day. How excited I was to discover that today is….wait for it! (cue trumpet fanfare now)

Flambe

Here I am with the charred remains of my Gateau Normand after a terrifying flambe experience in St Malo. At least I did not end up on the floor covered in it!

WORLD DAY FOR SAFETY AND HEALTH AT WORK!

Yes, oh yes! Who needs Saints’ days when we can celebrate not hurting ourselves at work?

Mind you, I did have a nasty work accident once and the thought of it still sends chills down my now deformed spine.

We are fortunate to get a hot lunch each day where I work and these lunches are mighty tasty. Now I am rather addicted to lasagna. If it is on the menu I loose all self control.

Lasagna was on the menu. I was late to lunch (due to my extreme diligence)  so the dining hall was filled with staff and students all seated and tucking into the nosh. I loaded my plate with two huge squares of lasagna, spurning the salad completely and made my way to a spare chair in the centre of the room.

I did not notice the little puddle of raspberry cordial spilled by a careless colleague.

Suddenly I found my feet doing a little Irish style dance as they hit the puddle. Naturally I yelled out “Aargh!” ensuring all of the dining hall turned their eyes to me.

At the very moment that I thought I had retained my balance, my feet shot out from under me until I ended up horizontally in the air before crashing to the floor in front of the entire school.

The massive serving of lasagna was at this time making its way to the ceiling above me having been tossed directly upwards by me on the way down. It almost hit the roof before hurtling floorwards, landing directly on my chest and head as I lay flailing about in the cordial.

So there was I, lying on the floor, covered in the evidence of my gluttony and greed and the entire school in attendance. There was a simultaneous intake of breath and a moment of horrified silence, then everybody began talking very fast.

A kind teacher, taking pity on my shame, helped me to my feet and escorted me to a discreet corner and went and found a 1st Eleven cricket shirt for me to wear in place of my lasagna coated travesty.

Little was subsequently said of the incident as I know that all that went through the other teachers’ minds at the moment of my public disgrace was…

“Thank God it wasn’t me!”

So stay safe at work today and if Lasagna is on the menu, beware of raspberry cordial!

 

 

 

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24 thoughts on “Work Safety and My Lasagna Shame

  1. WAHAHA! Oh, I have just finished wiping the tears from my eyes (sorry, no sympathy from me)! That was so funny. The Irish jig, the lasagne flinging and the horrified silence! Priceless! I bet, you gained a new respect from both students and teachers alike for that wonderful performance! 🙂

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  2. Oh gosh! You write with such delightful style that it’s impossible not to laugh, even though I would surely have died (temporarily) in the same predicament. I can so relate, being a lasagna lover (I make it frequently)–it’s quite understandable that you were distracted! And I want to comment also on the other point–non-holiday holidays: on a long-ago blog, I featured posts for any and all those days, as there are many that are interesting–and humorous : Great post!! (Now I’m thinking I should do those posts again–if nothing more than “filler” :))

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    • I think that would be great. It would be an excellent prompt for a challenge too come to think of it! Hope you are enjoying the weekend. I have had man flu (again) so have been convalescing away from the internet.

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        • One of the joys of working with kids is the inevitable contraction of “the dreaded lurgy” (possible Aussieism?) Coughing and spluttering much less today. 🙂

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          • Oh goodness, me! I keep forgetting that you teach kids, thus you’re susceptible to anything/everything they care to pass around–arrghh! The dreaded lurgy…you’ve got me chuckling again 🙂 Glad the symptoms are abating somewhat–you need food: I just baked a Cherry Crumble, interested?

            I really think you should do a poem with Aussieisms only–that would be so entertaining!

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          • I like the sound of the cherry crumble immensely. I also like the idea of an Aussie poem only it would need a translation to go with it. I had Japanese for lunch which was very nice but a good rich dessert would, I am sure, cure my ills. 🙂

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          • I encourage you to do an Aussie poem–with or without a translation; if you omitted it, it could then be a “challenge” for your readers to interpret–sounds fun to me!

            Japanese sounds good. The cherry crumble is not very rich, and in fact is Healthy! You just dump a can of cherry pie filling in an 8-inch square pan, then make the crumble: oatmeal (I recommend the Quick Cook ones, as the other turned out rather more than crunchy…), flour, brown sugar and butter. “Crumble” the topping over the pie filling, bake for 30 min at 375 F. I shook some cinnamon-sugar over the top, and it was very tasty but not over-sweet. My recipe is rather lacking perfect measurements, so I recommend Google 🙂 Feel better soon!

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          • I will definitely tackle the poem and the crumble will be a great idea for the next dinner party now it is getting cooler. Yum!

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          • Yaaayyyy! Just be sure to double the recipe if you’re having a dinner party–it doesn’t make a whole lot (said as I examine the pan’s dwindling dessert). And of course you can vary the recipe with any pie filling you happen to like 🙂

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  3. Ha, ha! Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed so hard but you did have a witty way of telling the story. I pictured you horizontal in the air before hitting the ground, it takes a certain amount of skill to do that. 😉 I love lasagna too that’s why I’ve mastered the art of cooking it. I make a mean lasagna. I wish I could invite you over for some. 😛

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    • I had to laugh when it happened. The whole event was so ludicrous. When lasagna is on offer no distance is too great. Thanks for your charming offer. :)Hope you have a lovely weekend. TJ

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