It seems that every day of the year these days is World “Something or Othery” Day. How excited I was to discover that today is….wait for it! (cue trumpet fanfare now)
WORLD DAY FOR SAFETY AND HEALTH AT WORK!
Yes, oh yes! Who needs Saints’ days when we can celebrate not hurting ourselves at work?
Mind you, I did have a nasty work accident once and the thought of it still sends chills down my now deformed spine.
We are fortunate to get a hot lunch each day where I work and these lunches are mighty tasty. Now I am rather addicted to lasagna. If it is on the menu I loose all self control.
Lasagna was on the menu. I was late to lunch (due to my extreme diligence) so the dining hall was filled with staff and students all seated and tucking into the nosh. I loaded my plate with two huge squares of lasagna, spurning the salad completely and made my way to a spare chair in the centre of the room.
I did not notice the little puddle of raspberry cordial spilled by a careless colleague.
Suddenly I found my feet doing a little Irish style dance as they hit the puddle. Naturally I yelled out “Aargh!” ensuring all of the dining hall turned their eyes to me.
At the very moment that I thought I had retained my balance, my feet shot out from under me until I ended up horizontally in the air before crashing to the floor in front of the entire school.
The massive serving of lasagna was at this time making its way to the ceiling above me having been tossed directly upwards by me on the way down. It almost hit the roof before hurtling floorwards, landing directly on my chest and head as I lay flailing about in the cordial.
So there was I, lying on the floor, covered in the evidence of my gluttony and greed and the entire school in attendance. There was a simultaneous intake of breath and a moment of horrified silence, then everybody began talking very fast.
A kind teacher, taking pity on my shame, helped me to my feet and escorted me to a discreet corner and went and found a 1st Eleven cricket shirt for me to wear in place of my lasagna coated travesty.
Little was subsequently said of the incident as I know that all that went through the other teachers’ minds at the moment of my public disgrace was…
“Thank God it wasn’t me!”
So stay safe at work today and if Lasagna is on the menu, beware of raspberry cordial!