As one of my children was showing signs of disgruntlement over their current job I felt that it was my fatherly duty to divert his attention from the current vexations by taking him to lunch in town.
Now we don’t often go to town as our local “Garden City” has every type of store one could desire (and many one does not), but I felt a little nosh-up in the city followed by some retail therapy (thankfully, like most young people, he has a shoe fetish), would be a quick way to distract him.
So into town we duly went and strolled about the department stores in search of bargains.
In Myers (one of Australia’s few department stores) several racks brandished signs “75% off the already reduced price”. This was my kind of rack!
My son, (with great lack of the appreciation of potential of unusual things) pooh poohed a vivid orange and lime green Hawaiian shirt drastically reduced from $112 to $18 and a charming t-shirt with a Rhino on it, sticking its horn through the word “Horny”(a mere $14). There is just no pleasing some people!
Thankfully I found two pairs of slim leg work trousers in electric blue and another in sky blue for a mere $20 a pair (reduced from $129 a pair) and ignored my ungrateful child as he made disparaging noises about these stunningly fashionable garments.
Exhausted by this shopping extravaganza we both staggered to the “Carillon Food Hall” where we made short work of a karaage chicken bentoo box.
We both agreed that the time had come to return home so we meandered back to the car park on the other side of the city. As I got into the car, my ever observant prodigy said “Where is your bag of pants Dad?”
Horror! I had left my bag of sartorial splendors on the floor in the food hall!
Now one of the reasons we do not often “go to town” is that once you are there practically every road is one way and driving through it is a nightmare. I had to negotiate the labyrinth by driving further and further away from the food hall just to get back to it, all the time thinking of some fortunate tramp who would no doubt soon be sporting my electric blue pants in the less salubrious gutters of Perth.
We finally got relatively close to the food hall and I parked in a forbidden zone, leaving my son with strict instructions to lie to any traffic officer who came by long enough for me to retrieve my trousers.
I ran as fast as I could given I was full to overflowing with Japanese food and reached the hall to find the bag gone…
I asked one of the cleaning staff if a bag had been found and she called security. I wasn’t quite sure why, as her English was not great but I waited and, at last through the throng of punters piling their plates with Chinese from the buffet, emerged the saint with my bag in hand!
So here I sit with my bulging bag before me, delighted that there is still honesty in the world and, although I truly sympathise with the plight of the tramps, that one is not now wearing my new trousers.