An Aussie Poem – The Mozzie

City Beach Perth Western Australia
This lifeguard tower at City Beach in Perth Western Australia is more often used to look for sharks than drowning swimmers. Be on the lookout for mozzies!

Cor blimey mate!

You takin’ the mick?

I dunno when

I’ve felt so sick.

There in me thongs and brand new cozzie

I got attacked by a bloody mozzie

And now the sheilas all are larfin’

It’s enough to set a blighter barfin’

Strewth! How ‘e do it to a bloke?

It’s enough to make a cobber choke!

Bloody oath! Me bum’s all bodgy!

All blown up and lookin dodgy!

Buckley’s chance of sitting down!

Fair dinkum! It’s all over town!

Heard on the bush telegraph!

Go on yer bastards! Have a larf!

Tell the bogans “bring a plate”!

And add their tinnies to the slate!

I’m stuffed if all them filthy scum,

get a good shufti of me bum!

 

This is a poem written in the mellifluous language known as “Australian English”. Note the musical quality which is best replicated by talking exclusively through your nose and pronouncing all “a” sounds like the “oi” in the word “quoit”. A kind reader suggested I write a poem in Australian to share our delightful language with the world.

 

A translation is provided below for those unfamiliar with the vernacular.

Cor blimey mate!

I say good fellow

You takin the mick?

Are you making fun of me?

I dunno when

I don’t recall when

I’ve felt so sick.

I’ve felt so sick (universal)

There in me thongs and brand new cozzie

There in my casual rubber footwear (flip flops) and new swimming trunks

I got attacked by a bloody mozzie

I was attacked by a rather unpleasant mosquito

And now the sheilas all are larfin.

Now the women folk find me a figure of fun

It’s enough to set a blighter barfin.

It is so vexing I may well vomit.

Strewth! How ‘e do it to a bloke?

Oh dear! Why would the mosquito treat a chap so?

It’s enough to make a cobber choke

It is so terrible that one may well choke with anger

Bloody oath! Me bum’s all bodgy

I tell you truly, my bottom is not at all as it should be

All blown up and lookin dodgy

It is swollen and not at all nice looking.

Buckley’s chance of sitting down!

I have not the remotest chance of being able to sit upon it

Fair dinkum! It’s all over town!

And, I tell you truly the whole town knows about it!

Heard on the bush telegraph!

It was spread about casually,

Go on yer bastards! Have a larf!

Go ahead you unpleasant creatures! Laugh away!

Tell the bogans “bring a plate”!

Tell the ill educated plebeians to bring along some food to enjoy while they look!

And add their tinnies to the slate!

And make sure they record any beers they take on the bar bill.

I’m stuffed if all them filthy scum

I am not going to allow any of these unpleasant hooligans

Get a good shufti of me bum.

Get a good look at my poor wounded posterior.

 

 

 

 

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14 Comments

      1. I’m glad to inspire–thanks! Now that I have the new laptop up and running (hurray!), I’ll have to find an Aussie lingo site 🙂 Hey, this laptop has a camera–so I’m hoping I can take pics of food I make, to share with my recipes…or just for fun, yippeeee!

        Liked by 1 person

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