Thursday Shmursday

Beard and bacteria
TJ Paris
Perhaps I should change my name to “Sal Monella” after my encounter with a budding scientist

There was I, spreading happiness and light about the grounds when I was approached by a student wielding a large medical swabbing stick and a Petri dish.

“Mr P?” asked he

“Yes my young hope for the future!” sayeth I.

“We are doing a biological experiment.”

“And a jolly good thing too. Students should do such things I believe.”


“Speak up chappy!”


“Don’t delay young man. Youth is a precious thing.”

“We..that is, I, was wondering if…”

“Yeeees?” I looked meaningfully over the rims of my glasses

“Can we test your beard for bacteria?”

Now I have been asked many things in my life, but not to offer up my beard for scientific experimentation. It seemed the biology class had been sent out to test common items around the grounds for the level of bacteria on them. Aside from my beard obviously being ranked a “common item” I had many  other real objections to having my head being tested for bacteria (good or bad).

Not wanting to crush the child’s spirit I declined firmly but kindly and directed him to the door knob of the Deputy Headmaster’s office assuring him that it was probably covered in the most noxious bacteria from the hands of the many reprobates who were obliged to use it prior to being expelled.

He took the hint and left.

Now I am petrified that my beard may be a seething nest of horrors.

Another joy of being an educator.


  1. Lol!!!! The things kids ask… But hey, at least they seem to have a thirst for learning!
    The age group I teach, I’m constantly subjected to bacteria, snot nosed nursery kids, coughing and spluttering, then cuddling up to you, wiping their noses on you as they go, or going yo the toilets and not washing hands, despite us explaining and telling them….
    Sometimes I wonder what extra germs and bacteria my whole being holds after a day in a Nursery!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. During my degree I suffered from Post Viral Fatigue which almost wiped my immune system out… Someone sneezed a mile away? Yup I’d catch that cold! But it took me 14 years to get back into teaching and schools… By then my own children had aided me in strengthening it back up again!!
        Have a great day! I’m off to nursery now!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. So glad you got through this. I admire anyone who has managed to cope with this condition. I have a friend who suffered from the same condition and few people realise how debilitating it can be! Best wishes with the “little grubs”. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  2. And a little aside…. Looking at your photo, and it being black and white, I thought, for a moment, that you had grown a stray dreadlocks overnight, before realising it was the trunk of a tree!!!! … Or is it???

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Doubled over cackling here–good thing I didn’t have a mouthful of soda or I’d have spit it all over my nice new laptop! So I’m bound to ask: is this “more on average” your personal observation, or is there research to back it up? You’re killin’ me–and it’s only 4pm on a Friday 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I only every use the most up to date research. Apparently we shower on average 8 times a week compared to American who only shower on average 5 times! Mind you, we mostly live in a dessert so we need to wash.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s