Mondayitis – Unleash the Luddite!

Damaged at a tender age by the advent of computer technology I have always had an absolute dread of new “electronic” items.

wireless router

I was moved to create this artwork entitled “Wireless Router with Knife” as a homage to my recent internet experience. Its other title is “The dark wireless night time of my soul”

I was a young lad at the very moment things like video players burst onto the screen at a time when connecting your television to any device or setting up new channels was like staring into hell.

I would always be the one to be asked to set up the TV (“You are young and must know what to do”) and sat for hours watching different coloured bands of light drifting across the snowy surface of the screen in the hope that it somehow would find the stations. My grandfather had a penchant for buying the most “up to date” devices, which were also the most difficult to use, and then expect me to instantly understand it all. Does anyone recall the video player that came with it’s own bar code scanner that allowed you to pre-programme the machine by swiping the bar code in the television guide? AAAAAAARGH!

Hence the dead, sick feeling I still get any time a new “device” enters the house.

You can imagine the joy I felt on Friday evening when we suddenly realised that the internet had died.

We don’t think we killed it, but something gave out that night and we had to spend an entire evening finding something else to do.

Computer cables

This beautiful artwork entitled “Disconnect” encapsulates the world issues facing us all.

My smug self of 10 years ago would have sneered at the tragic addict I am today.

I thought I would do a little research on some recent antique buys…no internet
I thought I would write a post for French Friday…no internet
Look up prices for wall panelling (I must and shall have a French boudoir!)…no internet
Plan my trip to France…no internet
Watch dumb people falling over on youtube…no internet

I was forced to go to bed early in disgust.

Saturday

I woke with the withdrawal symptoms getting rapidly worse. The children were wandering about the house bereft. The red light of “no internet” continued.

I tried to contact the phone company. Fifty minutes of abominable music and I could stand it no longer. I hung up the phone and restrung the clothes line.

One of my children was so traumatised he went away and thoroughly cleaned his room. Another emptied the bins without being asked.

My nearest and dearest returned to bed (claiming a cold) but I knew better. She had given up on life.

I tried the phone again. Another hour later and nothing. In this time I did all the dishes, degreased the stove range hood, cleaned all the panes in the kitchen cabinets and rearranged the loungeroom.

Third time lucky and after another hour I got through. After a delightful conversation with a rather nice chappy from India it was determined that my line was indeed dead and that a technician was required to fix it…likely to be there sometime on Tuesday.

Thankfully I then had to then leave to get a haircut and to view some priceless artworks on offer by an intriguing person on Gumtree.

Did I…

Get a haircut?
Acquire priceless artworks?
Shock my children with my bad language?

More shall be revealed tomorrow.

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20 thoughts on “Mondayitis – Unleash the Luddite!

  1. I am convulsing with laughter once again–TJ, you’re a comic genius! I really think you ought to have your own TV show…and I would buy the upgrade to get the Aussie channel in order to watch!! But on the serious side, I’m like you–terrified whenever a “new device” enters my abode…or the dreaded news from the cable company that I “need an equipment upgrade–no charge, and it’s self-install”…they say this like I should be thrilled. But I’m NOT–it’s nearly enough for me to drop the phone and run screaming into the street…I do try to muffle the shriek: “NO, you’ll have to send a tech out to do it for me!!–I’m an old woman and infirm!” Your description of the family’s response–and your cleaning jag–were too hilarious! I’m now much perkier than I had been all day, so thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • So glad to add a bit of perk to your day :). I know exactly how you feel when you read “self install” as though it is a bonus. I am still struggling to connect but am not yet strong enough to make another call.

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      • I shouldn’t laugh, I know–and I’m not laughing AT you, but With you! I can so appreciate that you’re not “strong enough” yet to make another call… Last year I waited 6 months (after calls proved entirely useless), and finally wrote an email to the “top dog”, expressing my issues–it was worth it, as they credited my account Hugely, and made sure to get everything straightened out. The only remaining issue is that, although my audio is set to the default of ENGLISH, frequently the folks onscreen start jabbering in Spanish–and I have to reset it…. It’s annoying, but I just don’t have it in me to “make the call”… 🙂 Hang in there, my friend 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! We have a lot of movies too but I didn’t dare start one as I was waiting on the phone for “technical advice” Hope you have a great day. 🙂

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