Mondayitis -How elevating

dumb signs
dumb signs
Thank goodness this message is here! How often do I see huge piles of people at the bottom of the escalator?

In an attempt to  add a little of that vile word…I can hardly bear to type it…’exercise’ to my life I have taken to catching the train to work.

Soon I was feeling the effects of my endeavours in the form of shin splints and a hyper-extended Achilles tendon. However, I trudged bravely on and now can make it all the way to the end of the platform without undue fatigue.

Another advantage of riding the trains is the informative and edifying advice that one can glean by observing the posters thoughtfully placed by our municipality to assist the fair citizens of Perth function effectively as they make their way about the city.

The photo above is an example of the pithy advice that the powers deem necessary to promulgate lest society breaks down.

Now perhaps it is just me, but I felt that this message was just a teeeensy bit unnecessary.

Stupid as human beings may be, I cannot say that I regularly see piles of them at the bottom of escalators crying out for advice, incapable of working out for themselves that you just have to walk away.

“When you finish the ride…step aside”

What scintillating poet came up with this deathless phrase? And then there is the exquisite art work!

Cheech of Cheech and Chong seems to have paired up with Donald Trump to give us their “thumbs up” in appreciation of our great wisdom in walking away from the elevator.

Then you read the small print! Not only can you read the poster but you can see the video which shows you how to get off the elevator! Thanks the gods! At last, to be able to see how it is really done! 45 years of not knowing!

Given that the cost of producing these posters (and the fabulous video), which now adorn all the public trains, must have cost tens of thousands I wonder if there is indeed a crisis that I have not been privy to.

Perhaps there are indeed thousands of commuters who need to be told to get off the elevator. Maybe the transport “feedback” line has been swamped with requests by passengers along the lines of…

“When I get to the bottom of the elevator I seem to stop. What do I do next?”

If so, I applaud the Perth council for responding to this terrible social problem.

I now await more posters addressing similar shocking and burgeoning issues.

“If you jump on the tracks you may ruin your dacks” (dacks are the Aussie slang for trousers)

“If it is dark at night, turn on a light”

or perhaps

“When you sit chum, use your bum”

or more important still…

“If you don’t want to die…breathe!”

I await to see the safety campaign develop.

train poster 2 (Large)
I must confess to feeling slightly patronised here.


You can always see more by clicking here, plus the very photo of the “thumbs up” dudes!

Thank you Perth Council!!!!!





  1. I’m falling out of my chair, laughing!!!! You’re way too good at this, TJ 🙂 And now I’m wishing I’d paid more attention on my bus ride to the library today–I might have had something equally necessary (or stupid) to add…I tend to ignore the various informational signs in an attempt to enjoy the scenery…and not miss my stop 🙂 But suffice it to say, I’ll be chuckling all day about the Perth Pile Up at the bottom of all the escalators!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So glad you enjoyed it. I can’t help but find these things absurd and have to have a laugh about them. Some bright spark obviously thought this was a terrible issue that had to be addressed. I would be interested to know if you have similar information on your signs when you get a chance to look next. 🙂


      1. My neighbor (the one I speak to) and I enjoy similar absurdities 🙂 And I’m making a note to be more observant on my next bus trip! Actually, I’d kind of like to Wear a Sign when I’m crossing the streets/highway–here in Washington State, and in many states, pedestrians have the right of way in ‘pedestrian crosswalks’ (hence, I believe, the name). But drivers far more self-involved and intent on making the turn to their destination are well…just plain rude. So if I had a sign, “I am a Pedestrian–STOP your dang car till I get to the opposite side of the crosswalk–it’s the LAW”, maybe I wouldn’t have to curse so much, which interrupts my peace, en route to the grocery store or wherever. I mean–I’m short, okay? But also “plump”–hardly invisible!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Perhaps they are dazzled by the light shining in your eyes. 🙂 It is sad that you can’t even go to by milk without risk of being erased from the planet.
          Maybe the slogan could be…
          If you run people over you might feel repentance but that’s nothing compared to a life time jail sentence. (there could be a cute cartoon of two prison guards giving their thumbs up.)


          1. Oh my goodness, TJ–you’re wonderful!! Love your cartoon idea!! (And I don’t think there’s any dazzle–I’m usually squinting and frowning–and clearly, no one’s paying attention…)

            For some reason I’m reminded of a very odd experience that may amuse you:
            I was standing at the intersection along with a stranger (man), and we got to talking about the issue of safety in crossing…so he tells me that if I’m ever struck by a vehicle and can maintain sufficient consciousness, I should wet my pants deliberately–because having caused me “public humiliation” (not to mention injuries), the driver will have to pay me a HUGE compensatory fine. I don’t know if this is truly a law on the books, or what…but it made for an interesting wait for the light to change… 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          2. One wonders who else this helpful gentleman shared this vital life tip with. Just the idea that the first thing that should go through your mind when you have just ricocheted of a truck fender is “Oh I must remember to wet my pants” is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for a medicinal laugh at the end of a shocker of a day.


          3. I’m glad I could return the favor of “medicinal humor”–and so sorry to hear you’ve had a shocker of a day…I’m assuming that’s Aussie for “very very bad”.
            I have something for you to post about, on the order of “curiosities” (if not absurdities): I saw an ad for a Garnier product, however the much larger print displays “Whole Blends…Coconut Water and Vanilla Milk”. It took me a full 15 minutes to figure out that it’s not a coffee creamer, but shampoo… I fear some folks may be equally confused, and become ill, having stirred it into their bleary-eyed morning Java 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          4. haha! Definitely potential there! Most shampoos seem to read like food these days I agree. I wonder how “enriched” my hair would become if I massaged a muffin into it?


          5. Hahahahahaha! I’m picturing you with a head full of crumbs!!! I have some shampoo that has caffeine in it–it does nothing to “wake up/energize” my brain…

            Liked by 1 person

          6. I had a tea essence shampoo once but all that happened was whenever I saw a cup of water I felt a strange compulsion to dunk my head up and down in it!


  2. Wasn’t George told to Step Off in Seinfeld? He must have been doing it wrong too!! See there is an epidemic…I’d like to know how many people used the seats without pulling them down first…apparently this must have been an issue as well. I have instructions on my hair dryer not to use while sleeping…seriously! Drat being the multi-tasker that I am, this is really going to cramp my style!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! I didn’t even notice the ridiculous instructions on the seat and your hair dryer is a hoot! I can see how frustrating it must be not to be able to sleep while you style. I see a new market opportunity… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol!!! Hey I think you might have something there…I’ve been trying to come up with that million dollar idea…perhaps we have just hit upon it!! teehee 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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