If the Conniption Fits…

 

solitude 1
Lavinia felt a little out of step with the world.

Lavinia really had the most frightful temper.

It seemed that she was eternally on the watch for the least opportunity to go for the jugular.

Daphne (the Arty one) would make oblique references to the “Taming of the Shrew” and the benefit of good spankings while the other less literary members of her circle simply labelled her “bitch”.

All “the girls” thought her dreadful for pouring scorn on “Chesty” Burbanks who had made an unsuccessful pass at her. (such a catch too!) Lavinia had unaccountably objected to the entire group expecting her to instantly fall for his charms because he had deigned to hold open the door of the Duesenberg before taking her to a remote meadow to show her his…let us say “etchings”.

“Prude!” said Jude

And then poor ineffectual Marnie had been subjected to a barrage of abuse for some absurd reason apparently related to the fact that she had sacked her maid for stealing her Cartier clip only to find the clip attached to her “other” mink a week later. “I never reeeeeely liked her” she simpered just before Lavinia went beserk.

“She’s off again!” Archie sighed.

“Perhaps Lavinia needs a little rest.” thought her mother after Lavinia flatly refused to agree with her that it was far better that the little child that used to beg at the kitchen door had died of pneumonia rather than live with her indigent family living in squalor on the edge of the town.

“Did we even think of trying to really help them? We could have at least paid for a doctor!” Lavinia shrieked.

“The child is obviously mad.” sighed Grandpa, The Colonel.

Thankfully they found a doctor who was able at last to identify the cause of the problem

“Female Hysteria” he said and instantly prescribed certain “mild” sedatives.

Lavinia is so much better now and no more of those awful tantrums over nothing.

She even seems to be warming to the attentions of “Chesty”.

 

 

 

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