It has been coming all weekend. First that unexpected sneeze, then the slight irritation in the larynx. Saturday night I detected a mild sore throat. Then Sunday a running nose and a sore throat and now, this morning….MAN FLU!
This horrifying malady has struck at the worst time of the week!
Oh cruel fate that should see me laid low on a Monday but with too much work to do to justify a day off, lying in a bed of pain! No! Instead I had to drag myself up with the temperature a freezing 6 degrees Celsius and despite sneezing at least once followed by a single cough, I had to strip off my snuggly superman onesie and shower, dress and drive myself to work!
So delirious was I that I forgot to bring the normal medicine cabinet full of tablets and nasal sprays essential for combatting Man Flu and so I sit, hunched over the computer, proclaiming my fate to the world.
(Pauses here to sniff pathetically over the office partition for attention)
I am sure I had a fever this morning but the thermometer was obviously broken and claimed that I was within “normal” limits.
I did have a shivering fit when I arrived at work but another colleague callously suggested that I turn off the air conditioner and put on my jacket. Granted, the shivering passed, but I know that I am dying and that my workmate will ask himself after I am gone…
“How could I have not seen the signs? If only I had cared more!”
I leave him to his conscience and return to my own tragic circumstance.
I managed manfully to choke down the cup of Lady Grey tea that a more compassionate office worker who realised how little time I have to live made for me (I let the fact that chicken noodle soup was not also provided pass) and graciously accepted 2 paracetamol tablets which another had nestled in her handbag. Despite my dreadfully congested nose I could detect an odour suggestive of stale peppermints about the tablets but I was too weak to ask her to clean out her handbag more regularly.
I could tell that at last those about me were beginning to appreciate the severity of my condition after I coughed for the second time today followed by a tragic second nose blowing episode! The other men in the office realised that they too were at risk of contracting “Man Flu” and quite understandably ran away leaving me to the ministrations of the kind ladies whose motherly instincts, operating on full throttle after Mothers’ Day, came to the fore. Although I could feel my life slipping away I appreciated their soothing “Awwwws” and “Poor You”s.
I must stop here alas, for the typing has made me lightheaded and I may need to lie down in the compactus for a little while and reserve my strength lest I have to cough again.
So farewell dear readers, I hope to see your cheery Gravatars again…If not in this life but the next.
Weekly Photo Challenge: Half and Half